Monday, February 8, 2016

Andy Borowitz

TODAY 11:28 AM

Jeb Hopes to Woo Voters with Ad Featuring Worst President in U.S. History

BY 

CREDITPHOTOGRAPH BY STEPHEN JAFFE / AFP / GETTY

NEW HAMPSHIRE (The Borowitz Report)—The former Florida Governor Jeb Bush is hoping to jump-start his lagging Presidential campaign with a new television ad featuring the worst President in U.S. history, campaign aides confirm.

With the crucial New Hampshire primary just hours away, the Bush campaign believes it can finish strong by reminding voters of Jeb's connection to a man who left the nation in smoldering ruins.

In the ad, which Bush aides are calling "a fantastic closing argument," Jeb's ability to keep the United States safe and create peace around the world is praised by the President, whose decisions helped destabilize the Middle East and give rise to ISIS.

Across the state, the ad featuring the worst President in U.S. history is making a powerful impression on voters. "It brought back a lot of memories," Carol Foyler, who lost her house in 2007, said.

With the ad scheduled to air around the clock until primary day, aides to Bush are hoping that the commercial, persuasive as it is, is not too little, too late. "We're kicking ourselves that we didn't air this sooner," one Bush aide said. "An endorsement from [the person who presided over the worst economic disaster since the Great Depression] confers instant credibility."


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Juan
 

The National Rifle Association aids and abets gun violence.

- An American Story



Friday, February 5, 2016

Andy Borowitz

FEBRUARY 5, 2016

Sanders Admits Receiving Free Checking from Big Banks

BY 

CREDITPHOTOGRAPH BY ANDREW HARRER / BLOOMBERG / GETTY

MANCHESTER, NEW HAMPSHIRE (The Borowitz Report)—Scandal rocked Bernie Sanders's Presidential campaign on Friday as the candidate was forced to admit that he received free checking from several big banks.

In a press conference in Manchester, New Hampshire, a chastened Sanders acknowledged that, over the past two decades, he received free checking from Bank of America, Citibank, and JPMorgan Chase in exchange for maintaining a five-hundred-dollar minimum balance.

"I should have acknowledged my relationship with these banks earlier," a subdued Sanders told reporters. "For that, I am sorry."

The Clinton campaign immediately seized on the revelation, with one senior Clinton aide alleging that Sanders's cozy relationship with the banks "effectively strips him of the label 'progressive.' "

"Quite frankly, I don't know of too many progressives who make five-hundred-dollar payoffs to the big banks," the aide said. "This doesn't pass the smell test."

The news of Sanders's ties to the banking industry comes just days after damaging reports that he leveraged his relationship with the American Automobile Association to obtain a discount on renting a Nissan Sentra.


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Juan
 

The National Rifle Association aids and abets gun violence.

- An American Story



Something to Know - 5 February

Embedded image permalink


While the remaining GOP candidates are engaged in their close-caged wrestling contests, very entertaining as they are, nothing of benefit arises.   Now, on the other side, the Democrats have their own; the Bernie and Hillary Show.  This article in today's LA Times gets down to the nitty-gritty of each candidate, and how they are coming across.   Bernie, having come from an obscure beginning, has momentum and authenticity going for him.  Unfortunately, Hillary has come from having everything and has been thrown into a defensive position by the political successes of Bernie.   Ronald Brownstein has an analysis of how things are going for both of them, so far: 
Sanders inspires; Clinton perspires
RONALD BROWNSTEIN
   HILLARY CLINTON'S close call in Iowa has given her new reason to reflect on the old adage that history repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce.

   Surely for Clinton it was one thing to lose Iowa, and the Democratic nomination, in 2008 to Barack Obama, a comet of a candidate, trailing charisma and historical possibility. She was a formidably appealing candidate herself, but Clinton's tragedy was that her chance to become the first woman president was eclipsed by Obama's opportunity to shatter, arguably, an even more profound barrier.

   This time, Clinton is sweating against a candidate conspicuously lacking Obama's natural gifts. Bernie Sanders is a rumpled 74-year-old "democratic socialist" who didn't call himself a Democrat until last year. His power base is a state that is a national force in maple syrup and funky Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavors. He honed his political skills on the mean streets of Burlington, Vt. Obama, with his elegant and icy cool, evoked comparisons to John F. 
Kennedy; Sanders has been indelibly impersonated by Larry David. As a presidential candidate, Sanders has displayed genuine political talents. But if losing to Obama reached the level of tragedy for Clinton, failing against Sanders would qualify as farce.

   Still, even after Iowa's photo finish, Clinton's biggest worry isn't failing against Sanders but what she might face if she beats him.

   In Iowa, Sanders managed to advance beyond his initial beachhead of younger voters and well-educated white liberals — the same "wine track" constituency that couldn't provide enough votes to nominate previous Democratic hopefuls like Eugene 
McCarthy, Gary Hart and Bill Bradley. Sanders ran evenly with Clinton among white voters in Iowa without a college education, according to the election-night entrance poll, making working-class inroads that had generally eluded his wine track predecessors. Yet Sanders still must cross two big hurdles before he can truly threaten Clinton. He faced gaping deficits in Iowa among minorities and among all voters who identified as Democrats. (Sanders relied on big margins among independent voters who participated in the caucus.) Without substantial improvements on both fronts, he can't prevail in the primaries. Full stop.

   But, whether or not Sanders ultimately defeats Clinton, he has spotlighted a glaring weakness in her candidacy: an inspiration gap, particularly among the young. This may be where Clinton's 2008 and 2016 experiences meet most decisively. Clinton also lagged badly with young people against Obama. In that race, exit polls across all the primary contests found Obama beat her by 20 percentage points among voters younger than 30.

   In Iowa, Sanders routed Clinton among young voters even more thoroughly than Obama did. Gender was no defense. Breakdowns provided by the CNN polling unit show that among Iowa voters younger than 30, Sanders not only won 84% of men, but also 84% of women. At a raucous Sanders rally at the University of Iowa last weekend, young women repeatedly told me that they considered septuagenarian Sanders "the best candidate for our generation," as Kathleen Trombley, a university junior, put it. "I'd rather," she added, "vote for someone I fully believe in rather than for someone just based on gender." Ouch.

   Clinton can survive the resistance among young people during the primaries because she enjoys nearly comparable 
advantages among voters older than 45, who cast nearly three-fifths of all Democratic ballots in 2008. The case that Sanders is stirring unachievable hopes and that she can shoulder more incremental change through the clogged current political system resonates more with older voters who know how often life frustrates grand plans. Likewise, Clinton's self-portrayal as a fighter with the scars to prove it speaks more to those carrying the disappointments of middle age (and beyond) than to those whose faces are still unlined by care.

   Clinton's generation gap would pose a greater challenge if she wins the Democratic nomination. For the first time, the millennial generation this year will nearly equal baby boomers as a share of eligible voters, and Democrats need big margins from those young people. Telling them it's unrealistic to expect transformative change is unlikely to inspire the support — or turnout — that Clinton would need to prevail in the general election, even if millennials prefer her to the Republican nominee.

   Clinton's problem is that "Democrats are being asked to settle and they don't want to settle," said Simon Rosenberg, the founder of the Democratic think tank NDN. "They want to be inspired and they want to fight." Instead, in her posture toward Sanders's supporters, especially younger ones, Clinton risks positioning herself as the chaperone at a frat party. Tenacity and resilience are powerful qualities in a president. Yet to win not only the nomination but also the general election, Clinton will probably have to sell something more uplifting than her capacity to take a punch.

   RONALD BROWNSTEIN is a senior writer at the National Journal. rbrownstein@nationaljournal.com  


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Juan
 

The National Rifle Association aids and abets gun violence.

- An American Story



Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Andy Borowitz



Santorum Launches 2020 Campaign

BY 

CREDITPHOTOGRAPH BY BRENNAN LINSLEY / AP

DES MOINES (The Borowitz Report)—Declaring that "my time has come," the former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum announced today that he was officially launching his 2020 campaign for President.

"Washington is broken, and I've got some fresh new ideas about how to fix it," Santorum told a small clutch of supporters and whatever family members were available, at an intimate rally in Des Moines. "Once the people of this great nation hear those ideas, there's no stopping me."

"I'm in it to win it!" he exclaimed, to some clapping.

Launching his campaign in Iowa, where the next Presidential caucuses will not be held for another forty-eight months, Santorum brushed aside suggestions that he was entering the race too early. "You'll have to take that up with Jesus Christ," he said. "He's the guy who told me to do this."

Reaction to the announcement was muted, with some saying that Santorum should continue running for President if it makes him happy.

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Juan
 

The National Rifle Association aids and abets gun violence.

- An American Story



Something to Know - 3 February

This is short for now; less than one minute of video.   If you did not see this aftermath of the Iowa caucus, where Christie attacks Rubio, then you gotta see and hear it.  Classic dark bully screed.  Love to see the GeeOpie guys eat themselves up like jackals:

http://www.cnn.com/2016/02/02/politics/marco-rubio-attacks-chris-christie/

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Juan
 

The National Rifle Association aids and abets gun violence.

- An American Story



Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Something to Know - 2 February

Rob Rogers

Lots of buzz going on this morning about the results in Iowa.   Pundits speculate, and the media has its spin on the placement and predictions.  Of course, it is all too early to tell.  This morning, I have read and and seen a lot, and nothing really got me, until I read this article. Something for you to ponder:


The Opinion Pages |  CAMPAIGN STOPS

How Both Parties Lost the White Middle Class

By R.R. RENOFEB. 1, 2016


CreditWesley Bedrosian


LONG after the dust settles in Iowa — and New Hampshire, and even the 2016 campaign itself — one question will remain: Why, after decades of supporting the liberal and conservative establishments, did the white middle-class abandon them? Wherever Donald J. Trump and Bernie Sanders end up, their candidacies represent a major shift in American politics. Since World War II our political culture has been organized around the needs, fears and aspirations of white middle-class voters in ways that also satisfied the interests of the rich and powerful. That's no longer true.

As we know, the rich are now quite a bit richer. In itself, this need not disrupt the old political consensus. More decisive is the fact that the white middle class is in decline, both economically and culturally.

This story of decline is often told in racial and ethnic terms: White America is being displaced by a multicultural America, and especially on the right, voters are retreating to racist posturing. There may be some truth to this story, but for the most part it's a huge distraction.

In fact, the real cleavage is not interracial, but intra-racial: The populism we're seeing stems entirely from the collision of whites who flourish in the global economy — and amid the cultural changes of the last 50 years — with those who don't.

And while we've heard a lot about the economic decline of the middle class, the cultural decline of the white middle class isn't discussed nearly as often. It should be.

First, there are the consequences of the great success of the upper middle class, which today lives in a separate world of well-manicured neighborhoods with good schools, intact families and cultural confidence. We compliment ourselves that a generally meritocratic system is open to far more people than was true 50 years ago. And it has been — but the resulting culture of ambition paradoxically erodes middle-class confidence. Today, the vast middle of the middle fears that unless you're on the way up, you're on the way down.

And it's not just competitiveness that is eroding the white middle class. When I was coming of age in the 1970s, drug use was already undermining the white middle class. Since then marriage rates among high school-educated whites have declined and illegitimacy has increased. A priest I know serves three small-town parishes in rural, white Pennsylvania. I asked about his pastoral challenges. The biggest: Grandparents parenting their grandchildren, as their own children are too messed up to raise them.

Cultural instability compounds economic instability. A person near the median in our society is on shaky ground. He feels that what was once reliable is now eroding. This is as much a source of today's middle-class anxiety as stagnant household incomes.

What's striking — and crucial for understanding our populist moment — is the fact that the leadership cadres of both parties aren't just unresponsive to this anxiety. They add to it.

The intelligentsia on the left rarely lets a moment pass without reminding us of the demographic eclipse of white middle-class voters. Sometimes, those voters are described as racists, or derided as dull suburbanites who lack the élan of the new urban "creative class." The message: White middle-class Americans aren't just irrelevant to America's future, they're in the way.

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Conservatives are no less harsh. Pundits ominously predict that the "innovators" are about to be overwhelmed by a locust blight of "takers." The message: If it weren't for successful people like us, middle-class people like you would be doomed. And if you're not an entrepreneurial "producer," you're in the way.

Is it any surprise that white middle-class voters are in rebellion?


Our political history since the end of World War II has turned on the willingness of white middle-class voters to rally behind great causes in league with the wealthy and political elite: Resist Communism! Send a man to the moon! Overcome racism! Protect the environment! Today, white middle-class voters want to be reassured that they can play an active role in politics. They want someone to appeal to their sense of political self-worth, not just their interests.
Democratic and Republican Party establishments appeal to the interests of these voters, promising to protect them (Democrats) or spur growth that will renew economic opportunity (Republicans). But these appeals miss the point.

This is precisely what Mr. Trump and Mr. Sanders offer. Mr. Trump speaks about restoring American greatness, rhetorical gestures akin to Barack Obama's vague 2008 slogan, "Yes, we can." We can mock both as empty. But voters who feel disempowered and marginalized latch on to this promise. They want to be partners with the rich and powerful in defining our future as a country, not recipients of their benevolent ministrations, which explains why they're untroubled by Mr. Trump's great wealth.

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Mr. Sanders also appeals to the strong desire that the white middle class has to recover its central role in the national project. While he attracts support from a wealthier stratum of the middle class than Mr. Trump, the appeal is the same. He asks them to join him in fundamentally remaking our political economy. We can dismiss his socialism as an unworkable throwback, but he's doing something our political establishment can't or won't: asking middle-class voters to undertake a nation-defining transformation.

If these candidates have traction, it's because over the last two decades our political elites, themselves almost entirely white, have decided, for different reasons, that the white middle class has no role to play in the multicultural, globalized future they envision, a future that they believe they will run. This primary season will show us whether or not they're right.

R.R. Reno is the editor of First Things.


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Juan
 

The National Rifle Association aids and abets gun violence.

- An American Story



Monday, February 1, 2016

Andy Borowitz


JUST PUBLISHED 11:51 PM

Cruz Victory Gives Hope To Despised People Everywhere

BY 

CREDITPHOTOGRAPH BY MARY ALTAFFER / AP

DES MOINES (The Borowitz Report)—Senator Ted Cruz's stunning victory in the Iowa caucuses is serving as a beacon of hope to despised people across the nation, a number of disliked Americans confirmed on Monday.

In interviews from coast to coast, dozens of pariahs said that the Cruz triumph meant that "the sky's the limit" for widely hated people like them.

Tracy Klugian, a real-estate agent from Jupiter, Florida, said that the fact that she has systematically alienated her co-workers, by bad-mouthing them to management and stealing their listings, no longer seems like an obstacle to advancement.

"Sometimes, knowing that everyone in the office hates me so much that they won't even ride in an elevator with me kind of brought me down," she said. "That's why this Cruz thing is such a game-changer."

Chuck Greister, a general contractor who has incurred the wrath of hundreds of clients for his shoddy work and flagrant, who-gives-a-crap attitude, said that Ted Cruz's victory in Iowa has "been nothing short of inspirational."

"Showing up four hours late or drinking on the job site—sure, loads of people hated me for that," Greister said. "But a little hate never stopped a gentleman named Mr. Ted Cruz."

In the wake of the Iowa caucuses, America's most unlikeable people were lighting up Facebook with comments in praise of Cruz, bursting with pride that one of their number had a legitimate shot at the White House.

"There are a lot of despised little kids out there who probably think that they'll never be President," Klugian said. "Ted Cruz gives them a reason to dream."

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Juan
 

The National Rifle Association aids and abets gun violence.

- An American Story