CREDITPHOTOGRAPH BY ANDREW HARRER / BLOOMBERG / GETTY
MANCHESTER, NEW HAMPSHIRE (The Borowitz Report)—Scandal rocked Bernie Sanders's Presidential campaign on Friday as the candidate was forced to admit that he received free checking from several big banks.
In a press conference in Manchester, New Hampshire, a chastened Sanders acknowledged that, over the past two decades, he received free checking from Bank of America, Citibank, and JPMorgan Chase in exchange for maintaining a five-hundred-dollar minimum balance.
"I should have acknowledged my relationship with these banks earlier," a subdued Sanders told reporters. "For that, I am sorry."
The Clinton campaign immediately seized on the revelation, with one senior Clinton aide alleging that Sanders's cozy relationship with the banks "effectively strips him of the label 'progressive.' "
"Quite frankly, I don't know of too many progressives who make five-hundred-dollar payoffs to the big banks," the aide said. "This doesn't pass the smell test."
The news of Sanders's ties to the banking industry comes just days after damaging reports that he leveraged his relationship with the American Automobile Association to obtain a discount on renting a Nissan Sentra.
The National Rifle Association aids and abets gun violence.