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NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In a rare pubic statement on Monday, Melania Trump said her husband has exhibited "alarming mental decline" since she last saw him three years ago.
Mrs. Trump said that she happened to see him on television recently ranting about sharks and boats and was struck by how much he had deteriorated over the past three years.
"He was incoherent before, but now he be worst," she said.
Shortly after Mrs. Trump released her statement, her husband vehemently disputed it. "I don't know what Mercedes is talking about," he said. "I may be 78, but I have the mind of a two-year-old."
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