FRANKFORT, KENTUCKY (The Borowitz Report)—In an improbable development that few saw coming, on Tuesday night Senator Rand Paul lost his title as the most embarrassing thing about Kentucky.
Paul's reign as the state's most embarrassing thing began in 2010, when he took the title from fellow Senator Mitch McConnell.
Prior to Paul's reign, McConnell had been the undisputed most embarrassing thing about Kentucky for a staggering twenty-five years.
A threat to Paul's five-year title came earlier this fall, when he fended off a strong challenge by the county clerk Kim Davis.
Reached by reporters on Tuesday night, Paul was philosophical about passing the torch to a new source of embarrassment. "I had a good run," he said.
Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.