NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—According to a format negotiated between the Republican National Committee and the television networks, future Presidential debates during the 2016 campaign will strictly forbid questions about things the candidates "said" or "did," the R.N.C. confirmed on Monday.
Reince Priebus, the chairman of the R.N.C., said that the deal addressed the candidates' concerns about the previously broadcast debates, which he called "abusively fact-based."
"In some cases, moderators were asking candidates questions about statements they made two or three weeks earlier," Priebus said. "This new format will eliminate that kind of ancient history."
Priebus said that the new format would satisfy not only the candidates but also Republican voters, many of whom have complained about moderators' "out-of-control obsession with verifiable information."
"This is a Presidential debate," Priebus said. "If people want facts, they can watch 'Jeopardy.' "
In the new format, the time previously allotted to questions about things the candidates said or did will now be devoted to questions written by the candidates themselves and read, verbatim, by the moderators.
"Carly Fiorina would very much like to answer the question, 'How has your experience as the most successful C.E.O. in U.S. history uniquely prepared you to be its greatest President?' " Priebus said. "This new format will let her speak to that."