WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-Ohio) said that he was disappointed after meeting with President Obama at the White House on Wednesday afternoon, telling reporters, "The President is stubbornly refusing to end the crisis I created."
"Government is about teamwork," Mr. Boehner continued. "I've done my part by putting together an entirely optional crisis that has shut down the government and will throw thousands out of work. Now it's up to the President to do his part by ending it."
Mr. Boehner said that he was "flabbergasted" that the President was looking to him to bring the current government shutdown to an end: "So after doing all of the hard work to push the country to the brink, I'm supposed to pull it back, too? How about you pitching in a little, Mr. President?"
The House Speaker said that he hoped he did not have to manufacture an another entirely avoidable crisis over the debt ceiling in order to stir the President to action. "Quite frankly, orchestrating these unnecessary stalemates takes a lot of energy and I could really use a rest," he said.
But Mr. Boehner seemed pessimistic that the President "got the message."
"Because of my actions, thousands of federal workers have already been furloughed," he said. "How many more people do I have to throw out on the street before the President wakes up?"
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