ANDY BOROWITZ

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	Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for more Washington Post Subscribers Cancel En Masse After Bezos Names Melania Editor Andy Borowitz Feb 6   READ IN APP   Drew Angerer/Getty Images WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The dwindling number of people who still subscribe to the Washington Post plummeted even further on Thursday after owner Jeff Bezos named Melania Trump the paper's new editor-in-chief. Calling the hiring of the First Lady "not a bribe," Bezos said, "We wanted to find someone who wouldn't be tainted by any experience in journalism, and Bari Weiss was already taken." Mrs. Trump will make history as the first editor of a major US paper with a 5% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, industry experts said. In her first official act, Melania changed the Post's slogan to "Democracy in Darkness Be Best."

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Juan Matute

CCRC