Monday, January 13, 2025

Andy Borowitz


The Borowitz Report borowitzreport@substack.com 

4:10 AM (9 hours ago)
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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Elon Musk's Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has eliminated the position of vice president of the United States, Musk announced on Monday.

"The job of the vice president is to fill in for the president if he falls ill," Musk said. "This seemed unnecessary since I'm in superb health."

Musk added that he was inspired to cut the VP position "because JD Vance hasn't been seen in weeks and no one's missed him."

According to sources within DOGE, Vance will immediately be reassigned as a used Tesla salesman.


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Juan Matute
The Harold Wilke House 
Claremont, California

"Think of how dumb the average person is, and realize half of them are dumber than that." — George Carlin
 


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