Friday, June 21, 2024

Andy Borowitz

The Borowitz Report 

6:18 PM (2 hours ago)
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Wojtek Laski via Getty Images

BATON ROUGE (The Borowitz Report)—In yet another bold educational measure, on Friday the governor of Louisiana signed a Republican-backed law that would replace all history books in the state's classrooms with "The Art of the Deal" by Donald J. Trump.

Touting the new law, Gov. Jeff Landry said, "History books  are full of useless information about things that happened 250 years ago, like how our country was founded and the Constitution was written. They do not teach our children about the most important events, like the building of Trump Tower."

Landry also confirmed his support for a bill that would require students to begin each day with a pledge of allegiance to Trump.

The pledge reads, "I pledge allegiance to the Trump of the United States of America, which, quite frankly, is a disaster, he alone can fix it, God save him from sharks."

Juan Matute
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― The Lincoln Project

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