Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Andy Borowitz

Pence Starts Wearing Mask After 

Fauci Says It Will Protect Him 

from Women

Vice President Mike Pence visits Mayo Clinic.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Vice-President Mike Pence has started wearing a mask

 after Anthony Fauci told him that it will protect him from women, Fauci has confirmed.

After seeing video of a maskless Pence touring the Mayo Clinic, on Tuesday, Fauci said, 

"I knew I had to come up with something fast" to get through to Pence.

Fauci immediately got on the phone with the Vice-President and informed him that "clinical 

research" had demonstrated that a mask is "an effective female-repellent."

"I told him that wearing a mask would protect him from 99.99 per cent of all women," 

Fauci said. "He seemed very impressed."

In an official statement, the Vice-President thanked Fauci for his excellent advice and indicated 

that he would start wearing a mask at all times, including at home.


CoronaTrump is a nasty virus, and if we distance ourselves like
Patriots, like a miracle it will all be gone in the Fall.

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