Friday, April 17, 2020

Andy Borowitz

Fauci: No Evidence That Warmer

Weather Will Make Trump 


President Donald Trump in the Rose Garden

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Responding to what he called "wishful thinking" 

on the part of millions of Americans, Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Thursday that there was 

"no scientific evidence" that warmer weather will make Donald J. Trump disappear.

Answering a question from CNN's Jake Tapper, Fauci said, "There's a lot of stuff on the 

Internet about how, when the warmer weather comes, maybe Trump will disappear, or at 

least somewhat diminish the wreckage he causes. Unfortunately, there's no evidence to 

suggest that this will be the case."

Fauci said that, based on the photographic and video record of Trump at his Mar-a-Lago 

resort, "He appears to be more active in the warmer weather."

"When the temperature goes up, he seems to get less lethargic and goes golfing," Fauci said. 

"This suggests that, when the summer months come, we could be seeing a second wave of 

him, unfortunately."

The esteemed virologist did hold out some hope to Americans who have been counting on 

a seasonal change to make Trump vanish. "Something like that could happen in November," 

he said.


Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

- Kris Kristofferson

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