LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—Queen Elizabeth II has trained her corgis to attack the British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, if he ever comes to Buckingham Palace again, palace sources have confirmed.
For Johnson, who recently suffered another setback involving a dog, the news that the Queen was prepping her beloved canines to eviscerate him was just the latest indication of his precipitous fall.
The Queen reportedly supervised the corgis' training herself, instructing them to lunge at Prince Charles, who wore a shaggy yellow wig for the exercise.
"When the corgis tore into Charles's trousers, the terror in his eyes was palpable," one observer said. "The Queen looked very happy."
Although the Queen has been publicly tight-lipped on the subject of Johnson, a royal source indicated that she was heard muttering "that lying bastard" when the embattled Prime Minister appeared on television this week.
"There's only room for one unelected ruler in this country," she reportedly added.