WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump doubled down on his claims of being a genius on Saturday by surrounding himself with the most intelligent people he knows and proclaiming himself "the smartest person in the room."
Referring to the associates gathered in the Oval Office as "my Brain Trust," Trump said, "Every one of these people is a stable genius, and I am by far stabler and more geniuser than any of them."
Trump said that the collective brain power of the other people in the room was proof of how smart he was. "Anyone who was insecure about his own intelligence wouldn't surround himself with such smart people," he said. "That's why you never saw people like this in the Oval Office when that dummy Obama was President."
Having conclusively proved how smart and stable he is, Trump said that he would spend the rest of the day proving how mature he is. "I'm, like, the most mature person in the country," he said, "and anyone who says I'm not can suck it."