SATIRE FROM THE BOROWITZ REPORT
FOURTH-GRADE CLASS TOURING WHITE HOUSE ANSWERS TRUMP'S QUESTIONS ABOUT THE CIVIL WAR
By Andy Borowitz 11:15 A.M.
PHOTOGRAPH BY JIM WATSON / AFP / GETTY
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A class of fourth-grade students touring the White House on Monday had a chance encounter with Donald Trump and were able to answer several of his questions about the Civil War.
The students, on a field trip organized by their Bethesda, Maryland, elementary school, happened upon Trump outside the Oval Office and "cleared a lot of things up for him," their teacher said.
After Trump invited the children into his office, the ten-year-olds briefed him on the causes of the Civil War, including slavery, states' rights, and regional economic differences.
"It was really cool," Tracy Klugian, who had done a diorama about the Civil War while in third grade, said. "Someday I'll be able to tell my kids that I met the President and taught him about history."
But another student in the class, Zach Dorrinson, said that his attempt to explain the abolitionist movement to Trump was not successful.
"He needs to learn how to sit still for longer without fidgeting," the fourth-grader said.
Trump has the intellectual depth of a coat of paint.