SATIRE FROM THE BOROWITZ REPORT
MIDDLE-SCHOOLER WHO WROTE G.O.P. HEALTH-CARE BILL CLAIMS HE HAS NOT BEEN PAID
By Andy Borowitz 01:31 P.M.
PHOTOGRAPH BY JABIN BOTSFORD / THE WASHINGTON POST VIA GETTY
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The middle-school student who wrote the Republican health-care bill that was unveiled earlier in the week complained on Friday that he still has not been paid for his work.
Kevin Tenco, a seventh grader from House Speaker Paul Ryan's congressional district, in Wisconsin, said that Ryan hired him two weeks ago to write the American Health Care Act with the promise that it "wouldn't be too much work" and that he would be paid handsomely for his effort.
"He said I would get paid, like, five hundred dollars, and I could buy a Nintendo Switch," Tenco said.
Taking Ryan at his word, the thirteen-year-old, from Twin Lakes, Wisconsin, "pulled several all-nighters" to complete the health-care bill in time for its Monday unveiling.
"I basically went to the Wikipedia page for Obamacare, cut and pasted a bunch of stuff and then threw in some tax cuts and whatnot," he said. "It doesn't sound like a lot of work, but I was super tired by the end of it."
According to Tenco, Ryan's failure to pay him in a timely fashion for writing the American Health Care Act has left him "feeling really bad about our government."
"I was all set to write an immigration reform bill for Congressman Ryan, but now there's no way," he said.
"We're going to have insurance for everybody" — with coverage that would be "much less expensive and much better."
- TrumpCare as promised by the so-called 45th President