TRUMP TO STEP AWAY FROM MAKING HIS BUSINESSES BANKRUPT TO FOCUS ON BANKRUPTING COUNTRY
By Andy Borowitz , NOVEMBER 30, 2016
PHOTOGRAPH BY SUSAN WATTS / NY DAILY NEWS / GETTY
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—President-elect Donald J. Trump will no longer have day-to-day responsibility for driving his businesses into bankruptcy and will instead focus on bankrupting the country, one of his leading surrogates said on Wednesday.
Appearing on Fox News, Kellyanne Conway said that while Trump no doubt could "plunge both his businesses and the country into bankruptcy at the same time," he feels that he "owes it to the American people to put them first."
Acknowledging that Trump has no government experience, Conway said that his years of bankrupting a variety of companies would prove "invaluable" as he does the same to the United States.
"It's going to surprise a lot of people when they see how great he is at this," she said.
On a related matter, Conway said that Trump would allow professional managers to oversee his fraudulent enterprises, like the now defunct Trump University, so that he can concentrate on defrauding the entire country.
"There is a big difference between conning a few thousand students at a phony university and swindling a nation of more than three hundred million people," she said. "Mr. Trump is well aware that this is going to be a full-time job."
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**** Juan
"Picking up the pieces and making sense of it all, and then trying to put it all back together is the new game in town"
My thanks to Andy Borowitz for reminding me that humor is the only way that I can get out of my current funk:
BOROWITZ REPORT
TRUMP PICKS EL CHAPO TO RUN D.E.A.
By Andy Borowitz , 08:29 A.M.
PHOTOGRAPH BY EDUARDO VERDUGO / AP PHOTO
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)
—Just days after picking Betsy DeVos to run the Department of Education, President-elect Donald Trump has tapped another wealthy outsider by naming Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzmán to head the Drug Enforcement Administration.
In an official statement, Trump said that El Chapo's "tremendous success in the private sector" showed that he has what it takes to "shake things up" at the D.E.A.
Trump's appointment of the former drug lord surprised many in Washington, in no small part because acrimony between the two allegedly prompted El Chapo, in 2015, to put a hundred-million-dollar bounty on Trump's head.
But, appearing on CNN, the Trump surrogate Kellyanne Conway said that the selection of El Chapo should surprise no one. "Mr. Trump always said that he would surround himself with the best people," she said.
When asked why Trump had readily offered a job to El Chapo while still mulling the fate of another former adversary, Mitt Romney, Conway said, "El Chapo might not have voted for Mr. Trump, but that's because he's Mexican and in jail, and Mitt Romney is neither."
The appointment of the former drug kingpin is far from a done deal, however, as associates of El Chapo report that he is "concerned" that being a member of the Trump Administration would be bad for his brand.
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**** Juan
"Picking up the pieces and making sense of it all, and then trying to put it all back together is the new game in town"
Finding some way to get back into the rhythm of reading and writing, after election day, has been tough. There are plenty of opinions and blather flying around the Internet; much of it useless or trite. Finding something of real interest trumps (pun not intended) just something to send out. This piece by Charles Blow of the NY Times captures my sentiments. Today is Thanksgiving Day, and I am thankful that we still have a free press and the 1st Amendment.
Donald Trump at The New York Times on Tuesday.CreditHiroko Masuike/The New York Times
Donald Trump schlepped across town on Tuesday to meet with the publisher of The New York Times and some editors, columnists and reporters at the paper.
As The Times reported, Trump actually seemed to soften some of his positions:
He seemed to indicate that he wouldn't seek to prosecute Hillary Clinton. But he should never have said that he was going to do that in the first place.
He seemed to indicate that he wouldn't encourage the military to use torture. But he should never have said that he would do that in the first place.
He said that he would have an "open mind" on climate change. But that should always have been his position.
You don't get a pat on the back for ratcheting down from rabid after exploiting that very radicalism to your advantage. Unrepentant opportunism belies a staggering lack of character and caring that can't simply be vanquished from memory. You did real harm to this country and many of its citizens, and I will never — never — forget that.
As I read the transcript and then listened to the audio, the slime factor was overwhelming.
After a campaign of bashing The Times relentlessly, in the face of the actual journalists, he tempered his whining with flattery.
At one point he said:
"I just appreciate the meeting and I have great respect for The New York Times. Tremendous respect. It's very special. Always has been very special."
He ended the meeting by saying:
"I will say, The Times is, it's a great, great American jewel. A world jewel. And I hope we can all get along well."
I will say proudly and happily that I was not present at this meeting. The very idea of sitting across the table from a demagogue who preyed on racial, ethnic and religious hostilities and treating him with decorum and social grace fills me with disgust, to the point of overflowing. Let me tell you here where I stand on your "I hope we can all get along" plea: Never.
You are an aberration and abomination who is willing to do and say anything — no matter whom it aligns you with and whom it hurts — to satisfy your ambitions.
I don't believe you care much at all about this country or your party or the American people. I believe that the only thing you care about is self-aggrandizement and self-enrichment. Your strongest allegiance is to your own cupidity.
I also believe that much of your campaign was an act of psychological projection, as we are now learning that many of the things you slammed Clinton for are things of which you may actually be guilty.
You slammed Clinton for destroying emails, then Newsweek reported last month that your companies "destroyed emails in defiance of court orders." You slammed Clinton and the Clinton Foundation for paid speeches and conflicts of interest, then it turned out that, as BuzzFeed reported, the Trump Foundation received a $150,000 donation in exchange for your giving a 2015 speech made by video to a conference in Ukraine. You slammed Clinton about conflicts of interest while she was secretary of state, and now your possible conflicts of interest are popping up like mushrooms in a marsh.
You are a fraud and a charlatan. Yes, you will be president, but you will not get any breaks just because one branch of your forked tongue is silver.
I am not easily duped by dopes.
I have not only an ethical and professional duty to call out how obscene your very existence is at the top of American government; I have a moral obligation to do so.
I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything, but rather to speak up for truth and honor and inclusion. This isn't just about you, but also about the moral compass of those who see you for who and what you are, and know the darkness you herald is only held at bay by the lights of truth.
It's not that I don't believe that people can change and grow. They can. But real growth comes from the accepting of responsibility and repenting of culpability. Expedient reversal isn't growth; it's gross.
So let me say this on Thanksgiving: I'm thankful to have this platform because as long as there are ink and pixels, you will be the focus of my withering gaze.
I'm thankful that I have the endurance and can assume a posture that will never allow what you represent to ever be seen as everyday and ordinary.
No, Mr. Trump, we will not all just get along. For as long as a threat to the state is the head of state, all citizens of good faith and national fidelity — and certainly this columnist — have an absolute obligation to meet you and your agenda with resistance at every turn.
I know this in my bones, and for that I am thankful.
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**** Juan
"People love me. And you know what, I have been very successful. Everybody loves me"
Well, I am back in the United States of America, after a 16-night cruise of the eastern Caribbean, followed by a 7-night cruise two days later of Cuba (Havana, Cienfuegos, and Santiago de Cuba). The visit to Cuba was interesting, and a great experience. So, I get back to this country and find it in a place that does not seem so good. The result of the election is not the direction that I find best for us or the world community. It is upsetting, to say the least. What is difficult to comprehend is that as each day passes, the parade of old white guys who are being put forward to infest the administration of the next president are as bad or worse than the guy who won the electoral college, but fell about 2 million votes short of his opponent. Getting all riled up at the stupidity, the assault on our Constitution, and the total regressive trajectory of our country is not productive. However, we can make it through this nightmare if we hang together and do our individual part to join with others to voice our objections, write our letters, and make it clear that we will make our opposition clear. I guess that it has come to pass that we must accept the fact that we on the left have existed in a complacency that got wrapped up in the feeling that good always triumphs evil and that the good guys always prevail. Well, now we know, or are getting to be acquainted with the reasons why we failed to win. On my two cruises, I read two books. One of them was recommended to me by my college roomie, which will be a topic to be discussed in depth when we cruise together next March. The other is one that was recommended to me by my Alma Mater Good Books group; "The Unwinding: An Inner History of the New America" by George Packer. If you can, I would recommend this book to understand why a large part of America that voted the other way, and elected our disaster, became what it is. To me, the prevailing Democratic Party power structure could have done better with what Mr. Packer points out. Bernie and Michael Moore had it right. There is a large part of America that has been through the wringer of failed industries, corporate and government neglect, greed, and ignorance. The book reads well, and I think you might find its presentation easy to follow. So, rather than get all pissed off and then more agitated, read about the fractured nature of the fragile and forgotten, and then figure out how we should work to fix this mess
Juan
"Picking up the pieces and making sense of it all, and then trying to put it all back together is the new game in town"
Sorry...but I am running out of internet access time. this has to be quick. I pissed and moaned yesterday, but today, I am ready to get the energy to start the process all over again. The Dems have learned their lesson. No use in pointing blame. If anything, the apathy and pathetic lack of understanding is now front and center. Get ready to rebound. I am off the coast of Cuba right now. Will write more when I get back to Claremont in 10 days.
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**** Juan
"Going into a presidential election, the moral authority and character of a political party is reflected by its nominee" - Maybelle Carter
Cruise ship is anchored off the tiny island of St. Barts. The rich and famous live here, so they have super high speed internet service. We have been able to keep up with politics at home. MSNBC is on our ship to channel. Can't really forward or editorialize any stuff with my smartphone. Looks like HC will squeeze a victory. Bunch of Republicans on this boat. Can't talk much. Trump, Giuliani, and Christie all deserve to lose. More later. Cuba in a week from now.
