Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Andy Borowitz


Benghazi Hearings Cancelled After Clinton Drops Out of Race



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Washington was in turmoil on Tuesday morning as a House select committee abruptly cancelled its Benghazi hearings shortly after former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced that she was withdrawing from the Presidential race.

Secretary Clinton's stunning announcement came at 9:00 A.M., followed by the committee chairman Trey Gowdy's decision to cancel the hearings at 9:04.

"As you know, we have been preparing for this week's hearings for months," Gowdy said. "However, after meeting with fellow committee members over the past four minutes, we've come to the conclusion that we know all we need to know about Benghazi."

Gowdy flatly denied that the decision to cancel the long-awaited Benghazi hearings had anything to do with Clinton's sudden departure from the race. "We wish her well in whatever her future endeavors may be," he said.

But shortly after Gowdy's announcement, Clinton called an impromptu press conference at 9:13 to announce that she was jumping back into the race. "I was just trying to prove a point," she told reporters, before heading off to campaign stops in Iowa and New Hampshire.

Minutes after Clinton's second announcement, an irate Gowdy called her decision to reenter the race "beyond unethical" and revealed that the committee's investigators had just uncovered fresh evidence about Benghazi.


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