NEW HAVEN (The Borowitz Report)—After a report from the Yale Center on Climate Change Communication showed that the term "climate change" elicits relatively little concern from the American public, leading scientists are recommending replacing it with a new term: "You will be burnt to a crisp and die."
Other terms under consideration by the scientists include "your cities will be ravaged by tsunamis and floods" and "earth will be a fiery hellhole incapable of supporting human life."
Scientists were generally supportive of the suggestions, with many favoring the term "your future will involve rowing a boat down a river of rotting corpses."
"Any of these terms would do a better job conveying the urgency of the problem," Tracy Klugian, a spokesperson for the newly renamed Yale Center for Oh My God Wake Up You Assholes, said.
Juan
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
-- Maya Angelou
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