Sunday, February 9, 2014

Andy Borowitz

Having tried three separate times to take the Russian Language, I can honestly say that I never did understand the calendar:

  что сегодняшняя дата?

The Borowitz Report

FEBRUARY 9, 2014

SOCHI EXPECTED TO READY BY 2018 OLYMPICS

POSTED BY 

sochi-construction-satire-borowitz-580.jpg

SOCHI (The Borowitz Report)—Construction in Sochi is “very much on track” to be finished in time for the 2018 Winter Olympics, Russia’s head of Olympic planning said today.

“I’ve been accused of being overly optimistic, but I really think we’re going to make that 2018 deadline,” the official, Dmitri Brilosky, said. “Fingers crossed.”

Mr. Brilosky pointed with pride at the progress his team had made in constructing bathrooms at the site. “We’ve finished installing the surveillance cameras,” he said. “Now we’re getting ready to put in the toilets.”

The Russian official was more guarded when asked by a foreign reporter if all the elevator shafts would have elevators in them by 2018. “I’ll have to check on that,” he said. “That might be cutting it close.”



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Juan
 
The soviet people want full-blooded and unconditional democracy.
-- Mikhail Gorbachev

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