WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Aides to President Obama said today that he was "visibly shaken" after receiving support from House Speaker John Boehner for his Syria campaign, adding that the Speaker's vote of confidence was "making him rethink the whole thing."
An aide to Mr. Obama, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said that he was in the Oval Office with the President when he got the call from Mr. Boehner: "As it became clear that Boehner was going to support him on this, he looked more and more stunned. He was trying to stay calm and all but you could see that he was really taken aback."
After putting down the phone with Mr. Boehner, the President reportedly told aides, "Boehner's supporting it. That's so weird. This is still a good idea, right?"
Moments after the President had "seemed to settle down," the aide said, he received a phone call from House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, who also offered his support for the Syria plan.
"That one really rattled him," the aide said. "He was like, 'I think I need to take a long walk.'"
The calls from Mr. Boehner and Mr. Cantor have created what the aide called "the biggest crisis of confidence this President has ever experienced."
"I checked in on him later in the day, just to see if he was O.K.," the aide said. "He was cradling his head in his hands saying, 'I just don't know. I just don't know anymore.'"
While the President's plan to attack Syria remains on the table, the aide indicated that the situation is very fluid: "If Rand Paul calls today and says he's in, the whole thing goes away."
A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity.