Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Romney's Surprise Visit Overseas

Not to be outdone by Obama:
MAY 2, 2012

Romney Pays Surprise Visit to his Money in the Caymans

No Timetable for Withdrawal, Says Presumptive Nominee

CAYMAN ISLANDS (The Borowitz Report) - In an uncharacteristically emotional scene for the presumptive GOP nominee, Mitt Romney today paid a surprise visit to his money in the Cayman Islands.

Speaking in a bank vault surrounded by stacks of cash, Mr. Romney praised his money for "the brave work you have done in the never-ending fight for freedom from Federal income tax."

"Thanks to your hard work, losers around the world are envious of me," he added.  "For that I salute you."

Stressing that his money's mission in the Caymans was "far from over," he refused to set any timetable for withdrawal.

In a reference to his bid for the Presidency, Mr. Romney told his money, "It would be an honor and a privilege to have my face on you someday."

After plunging into the stacks of cash to touch many of the dollar bills individually, Mr. Romney boarded his private jet to pay a surprise visit to Switzerland.


"A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic." 
       -- George Bernard Shaw
"It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value." 
       -- Arthur C. Clarke
"I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting." 
       -- Ronald Reagan
"Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life." 
       -- Herbert Henry Asquith
"You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you."
       -- Yogi Berra

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