Things to Know - 25 March

1.   

March 24, 2012

Cheney Receives Heart Transplant; Bush Still on Waiting List for Brain

Halliburton Performs Reconstruction of Former VP

FALLS CHURCH, VA (The Borowitz Report) – Former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant today, but former President George W. Bush remained on a waiting list for a brain, hospital officials confirmed.

As part of a government contract signed while he was still Vice President, Halliburton performed the reconstruction work on Mr. Cheney's circulatory system at a cost to taxpayers of $14.2 billion.

The doctor who performed the surgery called the procedure "extremely invasive – just the way the Vice President wanted it."

A hospital spokesman said that Mr. Cheney was expected to make a full recovery, but that he was "somewhat disoriented" coming out of anesthesia: "When we asked him who the President of the United States was, he said, 'Is it still me?'"

Former President Bush made an appearance at the former Vice President's hospital, hanging a "Mission Accomplished" banner in Mr. Cheney's room hours before the operation was completed.

2.  While I was out cruising the Caribbean, my daughter-in-law (Sirinya Tritipeskul Matute), and my son - Juan Michael, filled in with several entries to the blog edition.
Please check out -  http://www.thejuanpercent.com/  to see what you should be knowing.   Sirinya just may take over this operation, since I had so much peace of mind not worrying about the Wannabees, the Occupation, and the utter dysfunction of Congress.   It's going to take a couple of days to spool up on the news and ramp up to stuff to know.  


--
Juan

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
       -- Robert A. Heinlein

"The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."
       -- Woody Allen

"One of the most obvious facts about grownups to a child is that they have forgotten what it is like to be a child."
       -- Randall Jarrell

"Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world."
       -- Lily Tomlin

"Write a wise saying and your name will live forever."
       -- Anonymous