Andy Borowitz

The Borowitz Report <borowitzreport@substack.com>	2:03 PM (1 hour ago)
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	Forwarded this email? Subscribe here for more Mark Carney Offers Americans $6000 to Vote Against Republicans Andy Borowitz Sep 10   READ IN APP   Dave Chan / AFP via Getty Images OTTAWA (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it an effort to “restore sanity,” on Thursday Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney offered every adult American $6000 to vote against Republicans in the midterms. “If you oust the Republicans, you’ll receive a check for $6000,” he said at a press conference. “And to be clear, we’re talking American dollars, not Canadian.” The prime minister’s announcement seemed unlikely to make Donald Trump increase his own offer, since $5000 would be the most he has ever paid to a non-pornstar. Carney concluded his press conference by unveiling a new map of North America with the United States renamed “South Canada.”

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