Tuesday, March 24, 2026

Andy Borowitz

The Borowitz Report borowitzreport@substack.com 
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UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (The Borowitz Report)—TSA officers arrested hundreds of ICE agents on Monday after the untrained individuals inadvertently set off airport metal detectors with their guns.

In airports across the nation, ICE agents walked through the detectors despite signs warning that firearms were not permitted.

"This is so unfair," said one ICE agent as he was being handcuffed. "When I took this job I was promised it wouldn't involve reading."



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Juan Matute
R.B.R.
C.C.R.C.


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