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LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—King Charles III of the United Kingdom announced on Tuesday that he was cancelling his upcoming trip to the United States and would send his disgraced brother, Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, in his place.
Charles gave no reason for the abrupt cancellation, saying only that Andrew was a "better fit" for a visit to Donald J. Trump.
"I'm sure they'll have plenty to reminisce about," Charles said. "And if they run out of activities, Trump can always give Andrew a Sharpie and put him to work redacting those bloody files."
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