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DETROIT (The Borowitz Report)—JD Vance is "completely baffled" as to why a sad, childless woman is so often seen laughing, the Republican VP nominee said on Monday. "This woman has no children, and science tells us that, if that is the case, she has no reason to laugh," Vance told supporters at a campaign rally in Michigan. "It's almost as if no one told her that stepchildren aren't real children," he said. The Ohio senator said that he and his running mate plan to make the woman's laughter "the number one issue of this election," adding, "As long as one woman in America can still laugh, Donald Trump's work is not finished."
Does Trump Have Buyer's Remorse?
In the words of Magic 8-Ball, "It is decidedly so." Exclusive TBR coverage of the Trump/Vance dumpster fire examines Trump's severe cognitive decline, the likelihood of Vance being dumped from the ticket, and Hillbilly Effigy's plan to alienate even more voters. |
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Juan Matute
The Harold Wilkie House
Claremont, California
(New link as of 17 July)
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― The Lincoln Project
― The Lincoln Project
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