Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Andy Borowitz

The Borowitz Report 

6:14 PM (2 hours ago)
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BATON ROUGE (The Borowitz Report)—The Republican governor of Louisiana signed a new law on Wednesday requiring every classroom in the state to display a poster listing all Ten Commandments that Donald J. Trump has broken.

Governor Jeff Landry said the poster would enable students "to keep track of how many Commandments they have broken so they can better follow Trump's example."

"At the end of each year, teachers will issue a report card indicating which Commandments the students have broken and which they have not," the governor said. "If they have not broken all ten, they will be required to repeat the grade."

"We want Louisiana's students to grow up to be productive felons," he added.

Critics, however, said the law would give some students an unfair advantage, since children of Republican officials start learning how to break the Ten Commandments almost from birth.

Juan Matute
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