Monday, May 13, 2024

Andy Borowitz

The Borowitz Report 

4:05 AM (8 hours ago)
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NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) – In the latest setback for Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s presidential bid, a worm who dined in the candidate's brain wrote a brutal Yelp review shortly before dying, the reviewing site confirmed on Monday.

The worm's review began on a discouraging note, claiming that Kennedy's brain was "almost impossible to find."

"Once I managed to get there, I couldn't believe how cramped it was," the worm continued. "I'm all for intimate dining but this place was ridiculously tiny."

The worm also slammed the noise level in the candidate's brain, complaining, "I couldn't hear myself think with all the different voices in there."

With one star, Kennedy's brain ranks last in Yelp's "Worm Dining" category, tied with Kristi Noem's brain.

Juan Matute
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― The Lincoln Project

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