WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump vehemently defended
his decision to have his name printed on millions of I.R.S. checks being issued
to the American people, telling reporters on Wednesday, "I want my name to be
synonymous with the coronavirus."
Lashing out at critics of his decision, Trump said, "I have been working on this
pandemic day in, day out, and I deserve total credit for it."
He said that, by putting his name on the checks, "Whenever the American
people hear about the coronavirus, the first thing they'll think of is me."
Asked about Trump's decision to sign the checks, Dr. Anthony Fauci said,
"I don't think it was really necessary, since most people already associate
the coronavirus with him."
Former President Barack Obama said that he was "surprised" by Trump's
statement, remarking, "I had no idea that he knew what the word