Thursday, April 16, 2020

Andy Borowitz

Trump Defends Decision to Sign 

Stimulus Checks: "I Want My 

Name to Be Synonymous With 

the Coronavirus"

Trump signs something.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump vehemently defended 

his decision to have his name printed on millions of I.R.S. checks being issued 

to the American people, telling reporters on Wednesday, "I want my name to be 

synonymous with the coronavirus."

Lashing out at critics of his decision, Trump said, "I have been working on this 

pandemic day in, day out, and I deserve total credit for it."

He said that, by putting his name on the checks, "Whenever the American 

people hear about the coronavirus, the first thing they'll think of is me."

Asked about Trump's decision to sign the checks, Dr. Anthony Fauci said, 

"I don't think it was really necessary, since most people already associate 

the coronavirus with him."

Former President Barack Obama said that he was "surprised" by Trump's 

statement, remarking, "I had no idea that he knew what the word 

'synonymous' means'.


Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

- Kris Kristofferson

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