A passing thought. If Trump is so confident in passing out medical advice and prescriptions for

hydroxychloroquine, why not assemble some recently exposed and tested victims to the virus, give them

a dose of the miracle cure, and have Trump hang around with them watching Fox news in his resolute suite all day,

and then let us know how he handled the situation.

Fauci Refuses to Say When It

Would Be Safe to Reopen

Photograph by Win McNamee / Gett

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)— In a televised interview on Friday, Dr. Anthony

Fauci refused to say when it would be safe to reopen Donald J. Trump's mouth.

Fauci was responding to a question from CNN's Jake Tapper, who asked if the esteemed

virologist had a timetable for when Trump's mouth could be reopened without endangering

public health.

"The problem, Jake, is that, when his mouth is closed, we start making progress," Fauci

said. "Keeping his mouth closed is the one thing we know that works."

"We don't want to make the mistake of getting overconfident, reopening his mouth, and

creating even worse problems than we have now," Fauci added.

Attempting to pin down the epidemiologist, Tapper asked, "For the sake of argument,

could you see reopening his mouth in the summer? In the fall?"

"In an ideal world, my answer would be never, Jake," Fauci said.

****
Juan

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

- Kris Kristofferson