Friday, April 10, 2020

Andy Borowitz

A passing thought.  If Trump is so confident in passing out medical advice and prescriptions for
hydroxychloroquine, why not assemble some recently exposed and tested victims to the virus, give them
a dose of the miracle cure, and have Trump hang around with them watching Fox news in his resolute suite all day, 
and then let us know how he handled the situation.

Fauci Refuses to Say When It 

Would Be Safe to Reopen 

Trump's Mouth

President Donald Trump frowning
Photograph by Win McNamee / Gett

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)— In a televised interview on Friday, Dr. Anthony 

Fauci refused to say when it would be safe to reopen Donald J. Trump's mouth.

Fauci was responding to a question from CNN's Jake Tapper, who asked if the esteemed 

virologist had a timetable for when Trump's mouth could be reopened without endangering 

public health.

"The problem, Jake, is that, when his mouth is closed, we start making progress," Fauci 

said. "Keeping his mouth closed is the one thing we know that works."

"We don't want to make the mistake of getting overconfident, reopening his mouth, and 

creating even worse problems than we have now," Fauci added.

Attempting to pin down the epidemiologist, Tapper asked, "For the sake of argument, 

could you see reopening his mouth in the summer? In the fall?"

"In an ideal world, my answer would be never, Jake," Fauci said.


Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

- Kris Kristofferson

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