Thursday, October 17, 2019

Andy Borowitz and the Latest Clown Car Report

The news is changing very fast and furiously right now.  It is difficult to keep up with the latest changes.  There is no use on pegging a story to send out, because it all Things Trump keep morphing into a new news break that tops the one of 10 minutes ago.  Stay tuned to your favorite TV news network for the latest.  It is impossible for the headlines in this morning's paper to reflect what is currently happening.   Watch the big news shows tonight, which will wrap up what has happened today.  For example, 40 minutes ago I see that Individual 1's Chief of Staff, Mick Mulvaney, admits that there was a Quid Pro Quo, which is contrary to what Trump has been blowing out of his pie hole for the last two weeks.  And then, Secretary of Energy, says that he will be quitting "soon".  Yes, the HMS Trump has finally hit the ice berg, and all the rats on the ship are bailing out, and some are quitting so that they can tell their story to the House Intelligence Committee as it continues its Impeachment Inquiry.   Enjoy the show:

The Life-Changing Magic of Impeaching Trump


Over the past five years, millions of Americans have ascended to a higher plane of fulfillment by tidying up their homes. By talking to our possessions, one by one, and asking if they spark joy, we have achieved a kind of contentment we never dreamed possible.

Now it's time to tidy up a residence that belongs to all of us: the White House.

At first, this seems like a daunting task. After all, the White House has a hundred and thirty-two rooms. There is much culling to be done.

But there's no reason to despair. Many useless things have already been hauled away. Reince Priebus, John Kelly, Steve Bannon, Kirstjen Nielsen, Michael Flynn, John Bolton, Sean Spicer, Hope Hicks, Sarah Huckabee Sanders—none of them sparked joy. And now they are all gone. And Anthony Scaramucci, who sparked joy as briefly as those paisley pants you immediately regretted buying at H&M—he is gone, too.

Clearly, though, more culling remains to be done.

We must look at Donald Trump and ask ourselves, "Does this spark joy?" And, although the answer to that question might be somewhat different in Russia, North Korea, and Turkey, the answer here is a resounding no.

Remember how, once you tidied up your dwelling, you discovered hidden treasures buried under all of those needless possessions? Well, once that garish orange thing that sparks no joy has been removed from the Oval Office, you'll be amazed what you'll find underneath. Things you forgot you even had, like democracy.

In the video above, from last weekend's New Yorker Festival, I speak about the happiness we can attain by decluttering the country of Trump. Much like Marie Kondo, the authors of the United States Constitution gave us a unique tool for improving our surroundings: impeachment. And the Twenty-fifth Amendment is pretty good, too.


Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

- Kris Kristofferson

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