Anduy Borowitz

Trump Furious After Twitter's Bot Purge Leaves Him with Fourteen Followers

By Andy Borowitz

February 21, 2018

Photograph by Alex Wong / Getty

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump was reportedly "furious" on Wednesday morning after a purge of right-wing bots by Twitter left him with a total of fourteen remaining followers, aides have confirmed.

Rising at 3 a.m. to engage in one of his trademark early-morning tweetstorms, Trump was incensed to discover that his Twitter following had plummeted from more than forty-eight million to a little more than a dozen.

At Twitter headquarters, in San Francisco, a company spokesman confirmed that Trump had indeed lost 48,076,920 followers in the bot purge. "It turned out that over forty-six million of the President's followers came from a single troll farm in Macedonia," the spokesman said.

As of Wednesday, Trump's fourteen remaining Twitter followers included his daughter Ivanka; his sons Eric and Donald, Jr.; several White House aides; and someone named Heinrich Himmler III.

"We're praying that Heinrich is a real person," a White House aide said. "The President can't afford to lose another follower."

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Juan

"Yes, yes, but I bring that out in people. I do. I'm not saying that's an asset or a liability, but I do bring that out. ...I bring rage out. I do bring rage out. I always have."

- Candidate Donald J. Trump in April, 2016