SATIRE FROM THE BOROWITZ REPORT
TRUMP BOASTS THAT HIS IMPEACHMENT WILL GET HIGHER TV RATINGS THAN ALL OTHER IMPEACHMENTS
By Andy Borowitz 11:43 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an interview with NBC's Lester Holt, Donald Trump boasted that, if he is impeached, the television ratings will be higher than those of any other impeachment in history.
"Everywhere I go, people tell me that if I am impeached, they're going to watch it," he said. "The ratings are going to be through the roof."
He said that he expected his impeachment ratings to be "many, many times" the size of the audience for Bill Clinton's impeachment, in 1998.
"It's not even going to be close," Trump said. "The ratings for Bill Clinton's impeachment were a joke."
Asked about the recent impeachment of the former South Korean President Park Geun-hye, Trump said, "Did anyone even watch that one? That was Korea. Nobody cares."
As for the impeachment of Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff, he said, "I didn't hear about that one. I don't follow Brazil. I like Argentina. I saw 'Evita' many, many times. Andrew Lloyd Webber did a great job. Millions and millions of people loved it. But that was a Broadway show, not an impeachment."
Even though he anticipates "just terrific" ratings for his impeachment, Trump said that he did not expect the media to provide an honest accounting of his audience size.
"They're going to lie and say that a lot of people who watched my impeachment didn't watch, and that's going to be very bad and unfair, but it's not going to change the fact that my impeachment will be a great impeachment, a really beautiful impeachment," he said.
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