SATIRE FROM THE BOROWITZ REPORT
WORLD LEADERS RECEIVE CRANK CALLS FROM SOMEONE CLAIMING TO BE PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATES
By Andy Borowitz February 2, 2017
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a spate of annoying telephone pranks that has lasted nearly two weeks, heads of state from around the world have been receiving crank calls from someone claiming to be the President of the United States, the United Nations reported on Thursday.
According to the U.N. Secretary-General António Guterres, who has fielded complaints about the crank calls, the caller has tormented leaders from Mexico, Australia, and many other countries.
"The pattern is always the same," Gutteres said. "The caller is identified as the President of the United States, so naturally he is put right through. Once he is connected with the head of state, he begins to speak in a threatening and harassing manner."
"Then, as his threats reach a crescendo, he hangs up," Gutteres said. "Clearly, it's someone's idea of a sick joke."
The Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, became a victim of the crank caller over the weekend, an experience that he called "highly irritating."
"I'm a very busy man, and I don't have time to be the butt of some deranged person's joke," Turnbull said. "I've blocked the phone number, and I understand other heads of state have done the same."
H. L. Mencken
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
H. L. Mencken