SATIRE FROM THE BOROWITZ REPORT
TRUMP FIRES ATTORNEY GENERAL AFTER COPY OF CONSTITUTION IS FOUND ON HER COMPUTER
By Andy Borowitz 10:51 A.M.
PHOTOGRAPH BY PETE MAROVICH / GETTY
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump fired the acting Attorney General, Sally Q. Yates, after learning that she had downloaded a copy of the United States Constitution to her computer, Trump told reporters on Monday night.
According to the Trump Administration's code of ethics, established by Steve Bannon, a counselor to the President, "possessing, reading, or referring to the United States Constitution" is a violation that is punishable by termination.
Suspecting that Yates was in breach of that rule, Bannon seized Yates's computer at the Justice Department and discovered that she had secretly downloaded a complete copy of the 1789 document.
"Sally Yates was hatching a covert plot to require my actions to be in accordance with the Constitution," Trump said. "We caught her red-handed."
Trump said he hoped Yates's firing would send Justice Department staffers the message that "if you are caught flagrantly obeying the Constitution, you will be out of here."
"The American people deserve an Attorney General who will come to work every day ready to flout the Constitution, and in Jeff Sessions, they will have one," he said.
H. L. Mencken
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
H. L. Mencken