DAILY SHOUTS
SCENES FROM THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION
By Rob LeDonne , JULY 20, 2016
7:39 a.m. Hilton Garden Inn, Cleveland, Ohio
The Fox News host Sean Hannity gets out of bed and reviews notes on how to appropriately react to various scenarios. If Donald Trump gives a bad speech tonight, the plan is to say that he gave a great speech. If Trump gives a good speech, the plan is to say that he gave an astounding speech. On the off chance that Trump gives a really great speech, there is no plan.
9:01 a.m. Backstage, Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Mark Dudley, the Convention stage manager, juggles around the speaking order of the day's esteemed celebrity guests. Should Papa John take the stage before or after Omarosa? How long should Tila Tequila's speech about the economy be?
10:34 a.m. Ontario Street, Cleveland, Ohio
Only eighteen million protesters have gathered so far, well under the Cleveland police department's initial estimate of nineteen million.
1:30 p.m. Westown Square Shopping Plaza, Cleveland, Ohio
Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn wanders into a Taco Bell while playing Pokémon Go.
4:16 p.m. North Entrance, Quicken Loans Arena
A giant poster of LeBron James makes many Convention attendees uneasy as they file inside.
6:52 p.m. Parking Lot, Quicken Loans Arena
Republicans gather around a trash bin and take part in the inaugural Burning of the Morals.
7:47 p.m. Dressing Rooms, Quicken Loans Arena
Paul Ryan can be vaguely heard screaming into a pillow.
8:39 p.m. Stage, Quicken Loans Arena
Before Trump appears, the Convention planner Barbara Maxley instructs the audience on how to properly greet the candidate. (A two-handed salute followed by a thirty-second prostration.)
8:45 p.m. Stage, Quicken Loans Arena
Ted Nugent sings a rousing version of "God Help America."
8:59 p.m. Bush Residence, Miami, Florida
Wearing only boxers, Jeb Bush joyfully accepts the Republican nomination before an audience of stuffed animals lined up on his bed.
9:01 p.m. Stage, Quicken Loans Arena
Trump enters, riding an elephant painted gold.
9:05 p.m. Stage, Quicken Loans Arena
It's five minutes into Trump's speech, and fellow-Republicans are relieved that he hasn't made a single racist remark yet.
9:06 p.m. Stage, Quicken Loans Arena
A wisecrack about Puerto Ricans forces the spin room to spin even harder.
9:30 p.m. McCain Residence, Phoenix, Arizona
With Trump's speech blaring from the television, Senator John McCain's wife, Cindy, chastises her husband for his repeated use of the phrase "this fucker."
10:49 p.m. Stage, Quicken Loans Arena
Trump's speech comes to a close as hundreds of thousands of dollars rain from the rafters.
11:32 p.m. Oak Ridge Cemetery, Springfield, Illinois
Abraham Lincoln completes a full hundred-and-eighty-degree turn.
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Juan
Juan
Donald Trump and the National Rifle Association aid and abet violence.
- An American Story
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