Friday, September 25, 2015

Andy Borowitz

A Mimic of Singer Johnny Ray and His Best "Cry Me a River" Performance

TODAY 10:54 AM

Boehner to Continue Repealing Obamacare After Leaving Congress



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—House Speaker John Boehner announced that he would resign as Speaker and leave Congress in October, but said that he would continue repealing Obamacare from his home in Ohio.

Explaining his decision, Boehner told reporters, "A lot of the Speaker's job is administrative, which is time-consuming and tiring. In retirement, I'll have more time for what I really love: repealing Obamacare."

Boehner said that he plans to begin every day with a good breakfast, some exercise, and a vote to repeal Obamacare before lunch.

"No one knows how much time one is allotted on this planet," Boehner, striking a somber tone, said. "But if the Lord above grants me good health, I will repeal Obamacare thousands of times before my journey ends."


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