Monday, November 3, 2014

Something to Take Your Mind of off Tomorrow's Election

Thanks to the Torrance New Bureau, we have this - Thanks Kathi:

Subject: UK Suicide Bombers go on Strike
UK Suicide Bombers go on Strike
BBC News - UK Suicide Bombers go on Strike  ….
Additional comments from Haisheet Mapants 

 Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a 
 three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of
 virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda
 have so far failed to produce an agreement.
 The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda 
 announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would
 receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to
 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings
 has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
 The suicide bombers' union, the 
 British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.)
 responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members
 and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press,
 "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad.
 We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in
 the teeth".   Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief
 executive Haisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers
 concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands.
 They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive
 marketplace.   Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic
 shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between
 reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits but
 I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow
 themselves up.
 Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England,
 Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the
 change would not hurt their membership as there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.
 According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the
 number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of
 Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle.
Many Muslim Jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and  have reconsidered their benefit packages.

 You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times.
-- Morley Safer

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