AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report) — A controversial new bill in the Texas House of Representatives would require those running for governor to show proof of the minimum I.Q. necessary to perform the duties of the office.
If the bill were to become law, every politician in Texas with gubernatorial ambitions would be issued an I.D. card featuring his or her photo, current address, and performance on a state-administered I.Q. test.
Carol Foyler, one of the co-sponsors of the bill, acknowledged that the idea of a minimum I.Q. for candidates was viewed as incendiary in some circles, but insisted that the requirements of the I.D. card were not onerous. "All they have to do is show mastery of simple tasks, such as uttering complete sentences and things of that nature," she said.
But the bill faces an uphill fight in the House, where representatives like Harland Dorrinson, of Plano, have vowed to defeat it.
"I know that the folks behind this so-called bill are well meaning," Dorrinson said. "But if this had been enacted fifteen years ago, it would have choked off our supply of governors."
I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.