Sunday, June 24, 2012

Stuff to Know this Afternoon

JUNE 24, 2012

Fox News Reports: Egypt Follows US in Electing Muslim President

Positive Sign for Obama, Hannity Says

CAIRO (The Borowitz Report) – In its historic first democratic election, Egypt has followed the lead of the United States in electing a Muslim president, the Fox News Channel reported today.

Sean Hannity, the Fox News host, noted that in electing Mohammed Morsi of the Muslim Brotherhood, Egyptians were echoing the decision of American voters in 2008.

"The similarities between Obama and Morsi are striking," he said.  "Both come from radical political parties, and both have unfamiliar, foreign-sounding names.  One key difference, of course, is that Morsi makes no secret of being a Muslim."

Mr. Hannity predicted that the two Presidents could have a close working relationship going forward: "I'm sure President Obama has already called Morsi to congratulate him, one Muslim brother to another."

Mr. Hannity said that the election of Mr. Morsi may be just the latest result in a trend that augurs well for Mr. Obama's own re-election hopes: "In recent months, Egypt elected a Muslim, France elected a Socialist, and Kenya elected a Kenyan."

In other Egyptian news, a hospital spokesman said today that former President Hosni Mubarak, declared "clinically dead" just days ago, continues to make a remarkable recovery: "Today he was able to eat, say a few words, and wire four billion dollars to Switzerland." 


"Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose." 
       -- Evan Esar
"She was a woman who, between courses, could be graceful with her elbows on the table." 
       -- Henry James
"I no longer prepare food or drink with more than one ingredient." 
       -- Cyra McFadden
"A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat." 
       -- Katharine Whitehorn
"Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone."
       -- Anthony Burgess

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