Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Things to Know - 8 March

Caution © Tim Eagan,Deep Cover,caution,progress,gop,candidates,republican,election

The year 2011 was a busy year, and had no time for our usual sea cruise time.  Tomorrow, the 8th of March, we will make up for lost time and be out of normal internet access for a few weeks.  There may be some time in Fort Lauderdale, before sailing on 10 March, to send out a few quips.   Returning on or about 26 March, there may be some occasional contributions by my son and daugher-in-law (the "Santa Monica News Bureau"), but no specific plans.  Lynne and I will be traveling with my college room mate and his wife (John and Ellen Benson - the "Albany News Bureau").   John is a former Coast Guard warrior, and will be in charge of lookout for Somali Pirates as we navigate the "exotic ports" (so says Celebrity Cruise Lines) of the Caribbean.   This is it for today - well, at least so far, unless something really really stupid happens out on the campaign trail:

March 7, 2012

Overjoyed Romney Celebrates Voters Hating Him Marginally Less Than Santorum

Mitt: 'Voters Want the Lesser of Two Evils, and I am Lesser'

BOSTON (The Borowitz Report) – Moments after squeaking out a razor-thin victory in Super Tuesday's crucial Ohio primary, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was in an exuberant mood, telling supporters in Boston, "I stand before you tonight as the man people hate slightly less than Rick Santorum."

Mr. Romney said that he hoped to take the momentum of being marginally less despised than Mr. Santorum all the way to the Republican convention in Tampa.

"The voters of Ohio have said that they want the lesser of two evils," he told the crowd, "and I am lesser."

But in the Santorum camp, the former Pennsylvania senator showed no signs that he is ready to get out of the race: "In states like Oklahoma and Tennessee, voters spoke loudly and clearly that they can't stand Mitt more than they detest me.  That's what I call a recipe for success."

Meanwhile, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich vowed to stay in the race, noting that voters in his home state of Georgia hated both Messrs. Romney and Santorum more than they loathed him.

"This race isn't about winning or losing," he said.  "This is about me standing in front of a microphone and listening to the sound of my own voice for as long as possible."

And former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin hinted that she might have a role to play if the GOP contest becomes deadlocked: "Remember, it was my historic lowering of the bar that made this Republican race possible."


"In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable."
       -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
"For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing."
       -- H.L. Mencken
"When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators."
       -- P. J. O'Rourke
"Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't."
       -- Mark Twain
"Health is the thing that makes you feel that now is the best time of the year."
       -- Franklin P. Adams

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