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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Barron Trump burst into tears on Monday after an examination by a prominent Washington, DC podiatrist found no evidence of bone spurs. "I'm totally screwed!" the young Trump reportedly shrieked, hurling himself to the floor of the doctor's office in anguish. At the White House, Donald J. Trump said that the podiatrist's x-ray equipment had treated his son "very unfairly," adding, "This should never be allowed to happen in this country." "This is what happens when you trust a real doctor," he said. "I should have just sent the kid to my new Surgeon General."
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Juan Matute
CCRC
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