From: The Borowitz Report <borowitzreport@substack.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 25, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Subject: Nobel Peace Prize Committee Asks Trump to Clarify Remarks About Hating His Enemies
To: <juanma2t@gmail.com>
Using back up system when internet outage occurs, here is the whole thing:
OSLO (The Borowitz Report)—The committee considering applications for the Nobel Peace Prize has asked Donald J. Trump for "clarification" about remarks he made during a funeral eulogy on Sunday in which he declared his undying hatred for his political opponents. The committee asked Trump to indicate why, in addition to announcing, "I can't stand my opponent," he used the eulogy to call his critics "major losers." Additionally, the Nobel committee requested that Trump explain what he meant when he said of his rivals, "They cheated like dogs, but we got them back then. We have got them back." According to insiders, Trump's bid for a Nobel is now lagging far behind that of another Peace Prize aspirant, Kim Jong Un.
As corporate media continue to bend their knee to our senile wannabe dictator, I have never been more grateful that I don't work for one of these craven companies. I work for you.
© 2025 Andy Borowitz
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